My red hat is very red.

The mission to help people make themselves better is a good one. I believe in it. I want to help. I want, on the day when the questions must be given good answers, to say I stood up and taught people things, not just because it made me a better person, but because it helped other people. That said, my red hat is a very new one. My state coordinator is a real good dude, he is a damn fine instructor, and he will push me over cliffs if I let him. It isn't his fault, he was punished with a leadership position and that is what leaders have to do sometimes.

My red hat is very new, and very red. In a judo dojo you don't look at the color of a person's belt, you look at its condition. Judo, like shooting and life, is a journey of discovery. That journey creates wear and tear. A person who owns a well worn belt is a person who has obviously spent time working on their journey. A person who owns fresh belt is more of a wild card. They may have just earned a much deserved promotion or they may be part of a dojo that hands out belts for every little thing. It isn't the promotions that matter. It is the journey. A black belt isn't the goal, it is the sign you just crawled out of your crib and are ready to take a very long walk. I have been stomped by people with all kinds of belt colors, I have also....well, mostly I just get stomped. Eastern philosophy, well, the philosophy of the well-rounded understands that mastery is a label other people use. Rifleman, like judoka, like Kyuzo MifuneSensei, are never good enough to stop.

My red hat is very new, very new. I need time to get to understand what that means. I need time to reflect on the change in roles. My mentors are now taking steps back and I need to find orange hats that I can help and mentor them. I need to improve my shooting and get to know it and myself better. I need to lose twenty pounds so I can keep up with teenagers on the basketball court and I need to gain fifteen so I can be healthier in judo. I need to squeeeeeeze.

It isn't that I need to say "NO", I just need to say "slow". It isn't a race because I don't get to know where the finish line is.